A thing that I was avoiding since the end of 2012... is finally done. And I need to do it.
For who is new on my page, probably you don't know what is X-P-T-Z. I'll explain. X-P-T-Z was my first feet fetish account. I had 1~2 non-fetish accounts before that. It was created on January 21, 2010 and was the first attempt for to publish fetishist art online. Before that, I didn't had courage for it.
It also was the first attempt for to make a "professional" account. Before it, DA was just a place for to post a few arts I wanted to show on a forum. And I'm so glad I had acceptance here - that makes me to continue.
As xptz (its first name), Fire make her debut on the first day, being my main character since them. New chars had their first appearance on that account, after some months (even some that I wouldn't reuse again and giving 'em for adoption). I made lots of friends on that account, I bought my first tablet (a C3, then a Wacom Bamboo) and made lots of comics using GIMP, SAI and a mouse. That was a good epoch...
... but then bad epochs appeared in front of me. Depression and inferiority comes to my heart and filled it completely with sadness and converting into envy. But, instead of heal it since the start, it eroded my soul and I started to lose the will to draw. I had abandoned friends from two forums but keeping active on a third (I'm not active anymore on that).
Then, I finally took a decision: account change. A fresh start, maybe my demons would keep only on the previous account. Something that I could try more, like.... drawing humans! Why not? I could start drawing humans! It makes me to create FlyingBoss' account, on September 30, 2012 (a bit more than 2 years). Due to the Deviantart' Change Username resource, I changed my nicknames to lots, following temporary but-never-made projects: CircleCentric, FireClub, FirePlays... and finally the actual, TickleLabs.
If I were successful on it? Yes and no. Yes, because I opened my head for new things that I was blocked and could make me think on new things that, even without being made, could model my sick brain to a straight line, instead of a curve. And no... the demons keeps on my mind, and it make me worse and worse. Because of a thing: there is no demons. Demons doesn't exist. Just an untreated mind deregulation that I need to deal for the rest of my life.
While that, X-P-T-Z keeps without any update or something related. I didn't had courage (and was discouraged by some friends) for to delete it. It keeps as a museum with my artistic history of failures and successes, hapiness and sadness, euphoria and depression, laughs and cries. It was my first home... and finally it can rest. This account will be remembered in posterity as it wasn't me, it IS me. My essence, my life stage. But, as every life stage, we need to go to a better place and evolve ourselves as thinkers and artists (even if you can not evolve all of you).
Before close my account, I made a last backup of all the files. But they are personal, I don't plan to send files or publish 'em in anywhere else. They have sentimental value, and it keeps the thought that "we need to evolve without forget our roots".
Rest in Peace,